Dammit, I am such a liar! Especially when I try to lie to myself about three things – food, friends, love and music. Ah, make that four things then. Listen here man….I am not a reasonable person, let me just get that out of the way right this second.
Look at my life! These are not the choices of someone who is reasonable at all! A crazy person obsessed with Music, love, sex and whiskey perhaps. Okay, see what I just did there? I lied. Those are things I enjoy and deeply appreciate. I am at best, a deeply passionate human being who would act in accordance with my heart at every turn.
Don’t expect me to be reasonable at all. I told a producer that when it comes to music…I am like a randy old man, with charisma, a big dick matched with skill , a wad of mad cash and a spirit for adventure….at a bar with nothing but time on my hands baby. I will jump on anything that excites me musically speaking. Hehe.
I am not reasonable when it comes to dating or love at all. Even my ex husband was a lunatic before he became a cog in the system and sold out. And yes, he did that to look after his family…but man, it killed any spark in the dude. A spark he is still trying to recover. Let me interject here , says the Judiciary in Me, and ask if I being fair in my assessment of my ex husband? Yes. Okay, let’s continue…as there is a point I am trying to make.
Dude, aka the evil ex ( saved as such on my phone) is living his best life making choices he regards as reasonable. Yet. I could never do the same. I prefer to hang on to my craziness, my unreasonableness when it comes to being passionate about…every damn thing…every damn day…all the time! I believe in the miraculous, the extra dimensional and extraordinary, in life altering love and Music that can change the world! Every day is an adventure. That’s what death taught me…so why waste time being reasonable about anything eh? And it matters that he, father to my kid, is as happy as he can be every second of his damn life.
The lies I told myself hit me this morning when I thought about the song I wrote yesterday. Asking me to be reasonable when it comes to music is impossible. Anyway, can you imagine what a boring musician and human I would be? Sweet lawd, I would bore myself to death. I enjoy writing music that cause people feel deeply. As though there were with me when the best and worse thing that could happen happened. This applies to Music I wrote alone mostly or the songs penned by Andre and Lionel Bastos, as they know the true nature of my heart as songwriters. I say this as the Love Child album comes out next month, Feb 5th…and I feel… Glad I did it, cool it’s done and dammit I had fun with Tumi while creating it. Now let’s move on to making music that really matters to me, that stirs the soul…Did you see what I just did there? Just how unreasonable I am being with my own damn self?
Right. Lemme go write some more world ending music and do some other cool stuff….like lie in the sun with my cat while we contemplating world peace…deciding what food to put a smile on my Mother’s face as I caught her crying. She misses my father so much. Life happens…and it is best we all live the best and most unreasonable yet joyful lives we can while we are here.