I made a few conscious decisions after completing my 6th album. People were cut off and out my life with surgical precision. There is no space to speak to argue any point. It is done and all decisions final. It is a strange sensation of sorts watching it play out. I have not written any new Music in months. Granted, there was no real need as I was busy recording Silk and Gravel, and making sense of my life. Music always helps in this regard.
Without Music this happens…
My space is littered with so many books completed in one sitting. More trips to second hand book shops and the library are a necessity. Books in my bag, the car, under the bed and at friend’s homes. I indulge in long ass conversations with people who speak too much….while I listen impassively, half interested. I play my role as a sounding board well. Even my encounters with men bore. Same rules. Same game. Nothing new, even the dick size. Tequila and whiskey are consumed oh so very slowly to everyone’s annoyance.
How the hell can I write music under these conditions, I ask myself with great fuckin indignation!
I have opted to be present for this high grade fuckery, this place of ‘everything is just fine-ness’ until it all becomes so linear, too suburban. Endless hours of bullshit talks that circle in a cesspool while more of the same is repeated. Money or lack of money and shitty ass kids. The constant obsession with bodies and dicks. The fear of death, or aloneness. And then the perfect refrain after hours of moaning, ‘How do you manage Auriol?’
How can I not compose Music, eh?
The conditions are perfect as I can feel the desire to run and implode with Music; unearthing something within me that just wasn’t there before.Tick. Tick. Fuckin Boom. That’s how I handle it. I listen. Get bored. Sip tequila and dance. Read great books. Think about someone I shouldn’t every now and then. Remind myself that everyone is just a shiny or cracked mirror on a long speed chase with no goddamn seatbelts. And I am gonna provide their soundtrack. Tick. Tick. Fuckin Boom.