Category: Category 1

Okay. I know what they say…what you damn damns you. In other words, don’t point fingers. But my god man! How  is did this happen? Someone needs to explain this to me.

How does someone with an average white girl voice get the love of my musical life to produce a track for them? The lyrics were boring, the voice average and I zoned out before the chorus. Bored, annoyed and jealous. If I ever needed motivation to write better music, I just got it! Haha

And I listened again to see if I was being…you know…a bitch. Turns out, I probably am but the song did nothing for me. So yes and no.

* On a side note*  Paula Fuga who I heard for the first time at the Kokua Festival was amazing. The song about waiting at the airport ( or something of that nature) and the chords she used was perfect. And she has a lovely tone to her voice. *

I recall being at a performance and this girl got up to sing. Wtf was I hearing, I thought as I sipped my whiskey. I watched and then was determined to speak to her to, you know, so I could understand. It hurt my soul – her voice and the story attached to it. Seeking validation from her father who said she can’t sing, so she got onto a stage to…what? Look, he was right. She couldn’t sing – that jazz song. Any jazz song.

I have done so many dodge musical stuff. Like sing an Afrikaans song that only my best friend Noel tracked down. He is like a bladdy ninja. I mean I told no one! Or that pie song where I was dressed like Father Christmas’ second wife and yes, there were short people. But dammit – I sounded good! Haha

When music is involved I do things for people I am invested in. So perhaps love of my musical life did the same eh?

Kinda reminds me of a rule I keep violating. Don’t date musicians. Unless he is much, much better than I am. I need…how should I put it….to be  in awe of the person I love. Here’s the irony: I dated musicians but my Muses’ never were. They could barely sing! And the musicians seldom got a song out of me worthy of being on an album, let alone being shared with anyone!

Back to my musical rant, because I am still producer-less. The album, in terms of the songs I selected is complete. Here it is.

Album name: Before I Close My Eyes

Falling Stars

Vast is the Forest


Riddle me Gently

Stir A Little Love into Everything

The Weight of my Love

I’ll think of You

Rolling 6’s

Finger on the Trigger

What is this Fuckery

Songs I might consider: Golden, Call it, An Eye for an Eye, Burnt Fingers, Black Oceans, Crashproof Emperor, Damn You, Higher, Till the Waves Touch The Ground,  So I Can Move On, Goodnight, good-bye

Anyhoo, we are at stage four in our lockdown. My ass ain’t going near a studio for a while. Or drinking whiskey either. Hell, I might just stop smoking as the price of cheap cigarettes have tripled and keep skyrocketing!

Thinking about the Lockdown and the fuckery taking place in our country upsets me more than that track I just heard or the  insecure white girl trying to sing a jazz song. Or me not having a producer or record lable or agent!

At least life remains interesting eh? Onwards my people. Onwards we move. I clearly have more music I need to write.

Another realisation: when I hear things I do not like, whether music or words, I must question why. And I am sure they are lovely human beings, those musicians. But tell me, how did they get it right? Sell their soul to the devil, join the ranks of the Illuminati that seeks to control everyone by putting our bullshit music that people consume easily?

In the end it doesn’t matter. I seek to improve every single damn day. Not because I care what anyone else thinks – but because I have standards I want to constantly exceed. Places I need to move beyond, if only to prove to myself that I can.

This is why I blog – so I can answer my own questions and not drive anyone else crazy! Booyakashah! And of course, of course…I wish all of them well.







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