My daughter once said, ‘Mother, you give off a I don’t need anyone kinda vibe…’ That hurt for a second, I won’t lie. The last 3 years taught me a valuable lesson: be where you are, who you are, and never forget – hurt people come bearing gifts. The shape of your own heart is often revealed as the shit hits the fan!
All those I love have, in some form or fashion, been reduced to a tone as I sing or a place I retreat into when I hear Rodney play those first notes on the piano. Some are thunder looming on the horizon. Boisterous, electric blue pulsing from their very skin, threats pooling in their dark eyes. Others feel like ancient grounds abandoned in time. Sacred places defiled by graffiti and empty beer cans. Unknowing disciples of dark gods in ruin as they dance, as they laugh. Others are deserts, vast tracks of land where the stars constelate desires so secret I abandoned the sun. Rough, rough, rough.
I have so many ideas for songs and lyrics, but am in no rush to move a muscle. It pleases me, the idea of sitting alone and writing Music. Things feel good and I have many options, doors I could choose to walk through. Yet, every morning a small reminder first. Clarity of mind and heart matters. Fear is a chalk figure.
Then the words of a close friend echoed,
‘Allow others the gift of changing your perception, the way you view the world and maybe even…your heart.’ After all, fear is just a chalk figure and this just a dream.