People don’t like asking for help. I am not speaking of financial help. Most of us do not know how to ask for help when we are in an emotional bind. At times we don’t even know where to turn or even what questions to ask. So I thought I would share some things I uncovered when I don’t know my ass from my….ass!
Pay attention to what you annoys you. What is it about certain people that bother you? Are they too loud? Too needy? A bit too dramatic? A bladdy asshole cheater? Now the point is not to crucify them or their behavior. Here’s the key, what I have learnt so far. Those individuals are a mirror of sorts. Showing you things about yourself you are uncomfortable with. Regarding the asshole cheater – just how truthful are you in your everyday dealings eh? The loud ass dude – do you struggle articulating your needs? The drama queen – how creative are you and can that energy be channeled somewhere safer?
People are either mirrors or maps. I used that line in a song and by this I mean – sometimes they show us where we want to be, what we aspire to. At other times what we fear within ourselves, energies that need grounding or need to be reassessed, redressed or redeemed somehow. Dismissing someone our of hand or being judgemental never serves anyone. And who knows – you might find yourself on the other end of the spectrum and in need of a bit of empathy.
And why, oh why do you read the books you do? I enjoy books that transport me away from my current surroundings. It’s not escape I seek but expansion. Expansion of ideas, perspectives, modes of being. I turn to real people when I am at a loss as to how to implement those ideas. Yet, the seeds for many creative ideas are found in books. So just what are you reading eh? What can you deduce about yourself in those instances? Are you stuck in romance novels, self help books?
Let’s not get started on TV series! I could mouth off the names of various shows I enjoy. I often joke with my friends and say, ‘ Watching Come Dine With Me causes me more aggravation than watching the news!’ Food matters to me and suspending judgement on behavior of any kind. And this is why I love and hate the show! Do you watch documentaries? And if so, what’s your flavor? And just why are so many addicted to reality shows eh? Do you know why you cannot get enough of that particular show?
Clothing! My stylist taught me a valuable lesson while she looked at my clothing and the lack of color a year ago. I noticed that I do not mind dressing up for stage but everywhere else, I wanted to fade into the background. That epiphany lead to deep introspection and a drastic change in dress. I embrace color now,am not afraid to wear mismatching earrings and socks and love embellishing myself with flowers. I love wearing an item of clothing belonging to my Mother ( I am never without her ring) or an item gifted to me by Gilda. These two women have shaped me in unexpected ways and I carry that reminder with me as best I can. I do this not to seek attention but to honor my own being. I am here. Alive, loved and well…dammit!
And pray tell – where do you spend time to de-stress? At the library stuck between books (my favorite), in nature, playing sports or at a club? When you drink alcohol – to what end? And what effects to certain alcohol have on you eh? These are not trivial questions at all…at best they offer clues to the current direction your mind and heart.
Now for the juicy bits. What kind of person are you deeply attracted to eh? My poison? I do love smart men. I confessed that I would love to date an activist/musician/ artist whose family loves cooking. That is an ideal. Yet I find myself dating or having other kind of energies in my life. I needed to stop and ask myself why that is and make certain decisions in that regard. The ideal activist/musician/artist archetype makes sense as I desire, above all, to bring beauty into myworld. But not just vacuous beauty – words and music that moves people deeply.
In short – do not despair. We all get lost along the way. Yet we are never without help or without the means to gain perspective and awareness of sorts. Baby steps. Breathe and put one foot in front of the other…but while you are at it…notice the color of the socks eh?