Listen man, I need my friends around as I am starting to weird myself out during this Lockdown.
I became aware of this when we had a zoom meeting and I was interviewed about new music and my trip to India. I thought…oh my God Auriol, you are a fuckin weirdo. You need to get out and chill with some people, laugh, dance, drink whiskey, get laid and visit the sea. None of which I can do.
I ended up sharing a story about being massaged in India by two ladies who worked so well together it felt like one person with four arms. And how I passed out afterwards at a restaurant with friends. My last words before I blanked out being, ‘Oh no, I feel incredibly high right now…’ I know, I know….very inelegant. In fact, I can hear friends saying why even mention that eh? It was the first time I ever fainted. At a restaurant after filming and being massaged. A damn strange experience all round.
Then I wonder… Am I portraying myself accurately, truthfully? What story am I creating about my life as I write? Aside from being a weirdo that is…
I am difficult. My heart is not as broken as I sometimes think it is. Or as bad as it sounds in music. I don’t trust easily. People think because I share that trust is a given. Seldom. I turn down men, so being single and celibate is a choice. Everything becomes music. If it doesn’t it isn’t love. Or real for that matter.
I speak of whiskey more than I drink it. In fact I have never gone on a whiskey tasting yet! I learnt not to worry about money as it comes when I need it. And I enjoy rolling with a crew of people when adventure is in the air.
When left alone I read, sit in the sun, write music or find a second hand bookshop. Baths last hours and usually I am re-reading Frank Herbert’s Dune as my skin prunes. I cook only for family and friends. The closest I have come to making anything edible for a love interest was brownies. And they were delicious.
In short, I am very, very, very boring. I can see my daughter agreeing with me and laughing.
I just don’t want to lie to myself about anything or anyone, that’s all.
I write music and blog so I can remain honest. Does that make sense? Music is confrontational and I can feel a lie easier within myself when I sing or write. And the gaps between what I believe and how I behave becomes so very clear.
Pps…when is Ben Harper’s new music being released eh? I need something beautiful in my life.