The cure for most ills ? A good night’s sleep. The measure of how comfortable I am? A great night’s sleep. I value highly a good night’s rest. So much so that I sing about it! A few days ago I felt so very anxious and ended up falling asleep at the beach, completely shocked that a great deal of my anxiety was gone. All I needed was an uninterrupted snooze, it turns out.
There are specific things I sleep with, to guarentee a good night. Talismans if you will. Sleeping pills or red wine does not work. In fact, even a puff of Mary Jane does nothing to ease my troubled mind. It wires me wide awake. Yeah, yeah, call me a control freak, but I do not ingest anything as a rule before bedtime.
Christmas is almost here and will be spent with Gilda, same as each year. Fun fact: Scorpios are generally garrulous and loquacious around people they trust. It has been years since I was talkative around anyone. Usually I listen and take notes. I look forward to that no longer being the case in the new year. That’s my resolution. More hours of peaceful sleep.
I finally watched Swan Song. Sometimes I forget people are that afraid of dying. And I was hit by the omnicrom virus my people! It was rather funny in the end. One day of feeling like absolute shit. One day….and all was well. Water. Healthy living and a generous does of my Mother on the side. When I die….I die. Fuckit. But living in fear of anything or anyone will not be my lot.
I have been contemplating my own death for as long as I remember. The challenge is enjoying the time I have been given. The only real choice being….who I spend that time with. Doing what and where. Knowing I can leave whenever I choose is the most freeing thought.