If I had access to the knowledge I do now while in my younger skin…I would not have taken any of the paths that created my most life defining moments. I would make the logical choice, as an adult. Hence, no marriage and no kid. Meaning, I would not be where I am now. But who knows? A number of different and varied elements could have come into play …. that still lead to this very second. With me writing and you reading later.
Or maybe there is no real “you” just some weird and curious Artificial intelligence gathering data, encouraging and fooling me into writing (by leaving comments I never publish on my blogs) because someone is listening. When it fact there is no one at all. Just me loosing my mind. Being observed by alien overlord. A rat in a cage. Here kitty kitty. Hmmm.
Aliens. Lab rats. Cats. Writing helps. But I digress.
The youth fall into experiences and people with such reckless glee it scares one. And once I was that certifiably insane! I jump into many things, these days, but love is not one of them. Neither is lust. Or perhaps I have not been tempted enough of late to make any real effort. Who knows eh? I have no issue being around people as I know what to say, how to behave. And am seldom surprised by the behavior of others. I enjoy being the bearer of surprises yes. It’s one of my favorite things. (Note to self. Find an alternative word for things. I use it way too often.)
I am more focused on Family. Friends. Food and a nice bottle of Rum every few months. Shared. With friends. And great Music. Dancing in the mountains. In the desert. With friends who are family. Hence, the gods know me well enough to plan a surprise, because I am one weirdo of a person.
Sex and love were once very important. Central to the creative process in fact! Nothing like a good old rodgering to loosen one’s thoughts and free up space for Music! Gods. Sometimes I am way too blunt. But of late? Friendship matters more. And sexual energy is channelled into Music. Along with everything else. Hence. I write more music that I ever have. And there is no urgency or angst. I write and sing whatever pleases me alone.
After dealing with my own internal drama, meditating blogging, doing my own research, sitting in the sun and writing music there is seldom any reason to ask anyone for advice when in a crisis. Sometimes I speak to Mark and Matt. No, I do not speak – I write. I do not speak a great deal around friends. I listen as I created the space to do so. Career and cooking advice – well, I can always use more of that. But then I don’t really enjoy cooking as much. And if left to my own devices I eat scrambled eggs and drink water. Bacon is great with everything….naturally.
I am strangely okay with my current state of being. What’s gonna happen next will happen next regardless. Music and being happy will be the end result either way. Whether I am being heard in truth or observed like a lab rat. Or. Or. Wait for it. My alternative and very parallel self….has access to some mad tech and decided, after chomping too much shrooms and overdosing on Terrence Mckenna, to mess with my future time lines. Terence here or there does not matter. That dude was straddled between all kinds of dimensions anyway! And just to make the scenario more believable pops poor Ben Harper into my dreams. But I have not had one of those in ages, thanks guys. Damn these alien overlords and their noisy A. I. trackers. Or my alternative self who has way too much time. Man, I enjoy writing (as a precursor to music), as I crack myself up! Haha
Power in the illusion or power over it. What will you choose eh? Ps. Avoid a sci fi movie called Project Gemini and the latest remake of the sci fi series The 4400. Thank me later.