Category: My Blog

When someone upsets me, I do not react.  The idea of poisoning myself is insane. However, there are certain people….certain triggers…shit. And that’s what I need to be aware of.

I was once surrounded by people who were very set in their ways.  Stubborn. Egoistic even. Rather quick to dictate how I should live my life. They were  reminders to…Flow. Watch my thoughts. Allow life to happen.  They serve a purpose, a cold as it might sound. Most are no longer in my life. And when I encounter resistance of late….I know what to do and how to deal with my shit. There is no need to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Some days all I want is to be left completely alone. Not a soul. No friends. Family or my phone constantly going off.  Books. Music. The sun. Trees. A piano. Smokes and Bacon. As silly as it sounds, and perhaps that’s the reason why I announced it so brazenly, I have a feeling that 2022 requires I connect deeply with others again. Or with one person. I can feel it and it seems as though the universe is having a grand old time toying with me. She is pushing many new people my way! So yeah…bring it on universe. I am ready. Or am I? Part of me regards this as a test of sorts, a lesson I need to master.

The idea that we transition from one way of being to the next is not new. Yet, the notion of walking away from a person or experience to usher in that transition is hella hard! Bred into us are these ideas of forever. This clinging to a person or place. My bags are always packed – mentally and emotionally. There is distance, detachment and discernment. Fuck man, a healthy way of viewing my life and everyone in it.  So the knowing that  someone is about to enter whose energy matches mine at this point in time….is….interesting.

Will I become a confused and shy mess the way I did the last time I fell stupidly in love? Will I run away from the person and to my piano?

Looking back, I  only felt deep love or care twice so far.  Everything in between was delusional bullshit. People as a distraction, a means to an end. And each time I learnt so much about how my mind operates, my heart sings and my stubborn refusal to acknowledge any of it. Only time will tell.

In the meantime…I write Music. Plan performances. Go to the desert. Twice if I am lucky! Work on new and old projects. Hang with friends who enjoy tequila. Release an album or two,  and allow myself to be surprised. And godknows..  I do love a good old surprise…

Anyhoo, have a great day wherever you are. And try to deal (with grace and equanimity if you can) any crazy shit that comes your way. X

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