What makes a man or woman dangerous? Their inability to love, to be moved beyond their own experience, James Baldwin once said. Just with greater elegance, naturally. Love in my small world is accompanied by an explosion of sound and an implosion of the self. I have left people after writing Music. Or discovered, to my absolute horror I had fallen stupidly in love….and penned music as though the Devil was on my back!
A past Muse, I must confess, treated me terribly. I allowed it, of course. As I enjoyed the agony, the longing. Gods, how I suffered and simmered with the pain-pleasure of each encounter. Humans are silly creatures, aren’t we? We desire and ache for Love but view it with great suspicion! I knew nothing of Love. And know even less now, I am convinced. During Summercamp, a epiphany descended in the small hours of the morning. All love is a self discovery. And it was primarily the self discovery that sparked Music. Also, if I am honest….I discarded most of the men that inspired Music. But the epiphanies and Music remained and hardwired themselves to me.
People….are complex, and should be left to their own devices. To find their truth and embody it. This may takes many lifetimes or a few seconds! Along with the epiphanies and mind bending truths comes high drama! Yet, I am certain of only this. Life moves us on, by hook or crook. We find what we need. Our untruths are shown to us….as well as the love we are capable of sharing.
I made a very conscious decision to not assume the worse of others or myself. Above all, to never be afraid of sharing. Not only tangled words or Music but the absolutely mad bits as well. Don’t you think the world would be better off if we all did the same? If we took the time to know ourselves and allowed our inner selves to be known by others?
Either way, I feel gentler all round. Warm and fuzzy at the edges…