There are concepts I find deeply troubling. Love. Trust. Balance. Beer. It is not something that grabs me by the hair if you know what I mean, beer that is. I have prattled on and on about love, trust and balance. And suddenly I realised the opinions of my family never once troubled me. Allow me to explain…
My Mother is one of the greatest gifts the gods have blessed me with. Although I love and adore her, she never could get me to do anything not of my chosing. This is how I walked through my life so far. By having zero fucks to give. On the one hand it is really freeing as those I love, trust me enough to navigate my way through and pass concepts like love, trust, beer and balance.
Once, long ago I thought I had to choose between love and music. Music always won. Ah, perhaps I should rephrase. Choose between men and music. Only now do I know, with certainty, that Music is love expressed and men are as perplexing as beer and balance on a night out with your boys!
I complain about being musically tribe-less. Yet, I learnt many things in my solitude. How to write music, to flesh out ideas, allow my mind to imaginee in any way it wants….before I approach musicians to work with. Okay, we all know the only musician whose opinion I would care greatly about, so let’s not mention that as I am only human dammit!
Love and trust, is tricky. I have to believe if one is free of the opinions of others it would be easier to navigate both. Not only the opinions but the conditioning that comes with family, society, culture or country. It was a privilege being a young mother. As it gave me time to sort through the contents of my mind and heart. After uncovering certain truths I try to free myself of past chains. Look, it is working. On the one hand I am so conventional with my family it’s shocking. While on the other hand, I do whatever pleases me. Not in a selfish manner at all, but in a self respecting kinda way. Gods, am I even making sense here? No one gets to mess with my funk…
Perhaps, just maybe…I am not such a weirdo at all. I just won’t have the universe kick my ass because I didn’t pay attention to the first and second time a lesson in the form of an experience or person was offered. The very real nightmare of having to abandon whiskey for beer is one I don’t want to think of. So it’s best to pay attention.
I like the energy of 2020 so far. Epiphanies all over the place! A solid plan to reach my goals. No one to anchor me to a small piece of the earth. Very few people whose opinions bother me while I deal with love, trust, balance and beer. And here’s the best bit. I have a small ocean of people I love deeply…who would never make me choose between them and I what I am most passionate about. Also, they won’t ever offer me beer if there is whiskey!