I have no idea when next I will sing. Partly because we are still in Lockdown and I am needed at home. We all have roles we play in our families and me? I am the damn UN in ours. Still, when I go for my daily walks I do so with music and think of what I will sing when next I am able to.
It was wonderful getting a message from Rodney, my pianist and brother in arms, saying he misses me and being in stage together. This we both need, the healing music brings. I know I will sing the song written for my Mother, my father and Gilda. The song Babylon is Calling speaks of the sinister forces out there. I sing in the chorus, ‘Every new level has a new devil…’ This is a line I heard while sitting with Gilda. A preacher used them and it is so fitting. We are seeing our world and outdated ways of behavior by the elites being exposed, the high grade fuckery we have been blind to for so long.
Also, on a personal level…when one ascends in any sphere, new challenges are thrown your way. How else to test if one is really ready eh?That song then transitions into Bob Marley’s War. It kicks ass as I tend to lose my mind and sing with great anger.
However, I was wondering what song would I cover? Honestly, it is time I covered a Ben Harper song. Only issue I had was this. There are so many songs I love. When I drive alone at night and miss my father Nothing At All is on repeat. When I sit in the garden at night I listen to Don’t Give up on me Now. When I am very, very sad I listen to Waiting on an Angel.
Yet, when I thought of being on stage the song that I can see myself singing it’s I Will Not Be Broken. I would sing that as a reminder to myself and in honor of all the lives lost by Black and Indigenous people the world over. I can hear Jason on guitar and Liam on drums. And the rage in my voice. Yes that’s what I will do. Besides, I love that entire Give Till It’s Gone album.
I don’t think I am in denial of Daddy’s death. I have been preparing for it for so long. Yet it came as a shock when he passed so gently, my lovely Scabby( that’s what I called him!). I keep a watchful eye on my Mother and family. I cook, walk, read and tonight smoked so many cigarettes! No, I won’t judge myself for it. Life happens. All that was missing was whiskey.
Still, when I look at the house, the walls, the garden….it astounds me. Everything here was built by my father. He did everything. Build, plumbing, fixed the car, could even tailor clothing. His cooking was super dodge though but I loved his soup. And he always had a pot ready when I came home from traveling.
Hell, I even discovered that he was on the legendary team of Chris Barnard who performed the first heart transplant! Daddy was one of the first medical technologists of color. He is with me. I can feel him and he knows…I am here looking after Mummy as best I can, for as long as I can be. My sister arrives soon. I can’t wait for the house to be filled with the sounds of kids again and the chance I get to drive my godsons crazy. Or scare them.
But yes, until I can sing again…this is where I am. And that’s enough for now.
Anyhoo, here’s the Ben Harper song I was speaking about. It’s perfect. Take a listen. I dare you to disagree with me. Wait man, just sit down and …like Kendrick said…Be Humble.