I must confess…I have been madly in love for the last few years. He is the person I turn to when words are not within my reach. On those nights he unfurls his arms and whispers unknown melodies into my ear as we sit at the lagoon in the late afternoon sun. When happy he flips on the radio and smiles as a cheesy song plays. He knows my toes cannot resist dancing and very poorly at that. When I am deeply introspective his voice transforms into an oracle, offering small glimpses of my future, our future. Our love is torrid when performing on stage, soothing when alone, jovial when in the company of others and downright feral when naked. Also he never, never questions my love for Ben Harper.
Yes, I am madly in love with Music itself.
Not what you were expecting eh? However, my love affair with music has not always been smooth sailing. Like any married couple we have our spats and even separated for a while. It was a dark time neither of us speaks of. I do not question his love, devotion and loyalty to me. However, at times the price is too steep. He demands honesty. The kind of honesty that requires I seek out the darkest parts of myself. His standards are so exacting and compromises are rarely allowed. Not only in terms of those I bring into his space. He detests mediocrity and abhors boredom. Try this he says. Do not be afraid of doing that he urges me. And for heaven’s sake do not hide your body and being from others when on stage, he shouts!
And when he upsets me I run away to the beach, the lagoon, stare at my pocket full of stars in the sky and sulk. Those are the times when I wish he would leave me alone to read without prizing song ideas from the book in my hands. Maybe if he just gave me an hour’s peace I could go dancing without furiously scribbling observations into my notebooks; observations that inspire lyrics or melodies.
I write and sing about love as everything I see is love expressed and infused with Music. I write and sing about love because I find his voice in every person I meet, every bit of food I eat, whiskey I sip. I have stopped begging and pleading for Music to allow me the space to love another as ardently as I do him. ‘You will know when you are in the presence of someone you can love…’ How, I demanded! ‘Because everything about him, about them.. will make you feel the way you choose to feel about Music’