I love mythology and fairy tales . Those stories of old share some universal truths, regardless of the culture from which it stems A few days ago I wrote a song that deals with Blue Beard.
Here are some of the lyrics
“I fell in love with a bad man, a sad man. I was the Queen of his Midnight Soul. Forever taking, forever breaking anything his heart could hold…”
The twist in the song is this: I am the one constantly dying my hair different colors. Now if we were all honest with each other, we would confess that one person alone is seldom at fault. It takes two to tango. Surely, there is something within us that called such a Blue Beard like character into our lives? A wound that needed to be healed? The deeper the wound, the more hectic the person who helps us confront and heal in the end. Well, that’s my theory…
Yes, I am speaking from personal experience and this was one of the issues I needed to unearth during the last two years. The sad part is this, at that point in time….it was either him or me. That’s what it felt like. And I feared becoming a shell of human. Without Music or a life of my own. If I stayed would he have changed? How much would I need to change? Fact is, I was not willing to sacrifice anymore of my freedom.
Of course, upon digging deeper to locate the source of the wound….I discovered my Father. Now do you see why I state over and over again that Daddy dying was a gift? Yeah, Music helps one exorcise all one’s demons. I don’t know that I will ever hand this song over to Rodney though…but it was a needed exercise on my part.
Tomorrow I am in Cape Town. I needed a break from family. Silence. Friendship. And the freedom to just….be. Whatever comes with that is a bonus. Also, I need to think a bit more strategically about my career. My people in Cape Town help a great deal in this regard. When I am home my attention is firmly focused on family and nothing else….and that’s okay. As it is needed.
However, I won’t sacrifice any more of my freedom…and my family will not ask it of me. As they know Music is what keeps me sane. I cant wait to get on stage and sing again. Or work with amazing musicians. Just to let go of all the Music I have written so far. But let’s see what happens. The universe knows how much I like a good surprise. Fun fact, I cant dye my hair any other colors until the henna grows out. Haha. How’s that for irony eh?