I can write and sing my way in and out of anything or anyone. Breaking up involves Music. Falling in love involves Music. If it meant nothing there is no music. Hell, you can gage my much I felt by the amount of Music I penned and the nature of it.
I was always leaving my now ex husband in the Music I composed. Happy tunes were far and few in between. In another relationship I emphasized our differences. He was the penguin, I the alien. Eventhough, he was so much taller than I. Some men got no Music at all. Others got more than they deserved.
Recently, I looked at someone beautiful and thought, ‘ You need new Music…’He is just who he is. Lovely. Uncomplicated. There is no angst.And, god forgive me, but I enjoy looking at every bit of him. The Music will come when it’s ready. But I am in no rush. Did I mention there are 2 new albums in the pipeline? I would like the Music to be happier though..
Peace is what I value most. As my life is busy, dramatic. Friends are either breaking up, falling in love. Or dead. I stage performances where the last ‘song’ ends two days later and I am still in the same dress. Dancing with strangers, taking numbers, listening to their stories. Okay, that should not happen again as I made some questionable decisions. Yes, I can be trouble, a handful. The idea is not to leave dead bodies behind or regrets.
I like that my life is centered around what I value most. Friends who are Family. Great food and Music. Everyone is Music. Everything becomes Music. And I am just a vessel through which all of it made possible. That by itself is Joy enough. Then I get into bed, read a book. Cook a meal. Or bake with the sun’s rays on my skin in Silence. At peace. There is a time for everything….and I am no longer chasing, running or trying to prove a damn thing. I am deeply flawed, utterly human and enjoying the ride.