I watched two movies the weekend past, both touching in their own peculiar fashion. Good Luck Leo Grande, starring Emma Thompson and The Lost Girls. The idea of not exploring or being curious is a kind of madness. Or remaining stuck in one moment and struggling to find earth, a lunacy I could most certainly relate to.
There is a deep desire to stage performances that move me out of my skin. Yet, isnt that what we all desire, to experience the transcendent? I refuse to search for it in the body of another. Call it Musical celibacy or starvation but the last three years have been…lean. Hence, the transcendent came in small bites. I only just managed to deal with it through the grace of friends and family.
My Husband ( Music) and I have become complacent in our desire for each other, a bit too comfortable perhaps. Along with a strange sensation of being emptied out. Purged, cleansed. Hence, the very valid question – where is the Surprise Me button?
And then it happened…two lovely calls. One from a friend (the love story that made me gush) and a call from the Scottsman. It’s impossible to not laugh around him. Father’s Day was spent on the lagoon with family and a call from Matt today just made me feel all kinds of nurtured…and heard above all else. Witing a new song helped tremendously!
Now to prepare for a birthday performance with my Afrika Burn people. All I can do is embrace life’s uncertainties and try not to loose my mind. Somehow, we always get what we need, don’t we?