I question all my mad thoughts. Sometimes they appear as friendly neighbours, or on bad nights as lunatics that jimmied the bars of their cells grinning wildly. When I feel distress of any kind I stop and ask myself….what fucked up thought am I believing, what unkind thought about myself, another or the world?
At times my mind whispered…Auriol, you are always leaving people behind, aren’t you? Friends, lovers, work spaces, when are you gonna stop and chill out eh? And all manner of accusations are thrown my way by my mind, naturally. But why not leave, I roar in response? What am I scared of? That there isnt enough of the good stuff to go round? Not enough love, money or music? Perhaps because it has been shown to me, time and time again, that abundance takes all manner of forms……I trust that the way will be shown. And leave when I know it is needed.
In a few minutes I go home for a few weeks before returning for Afrika Burn. Yeah, I lost my heart there completely last time and reclaimed it during the residency in the desert. To sweeten the pot I was given a clear shot at something that felt a lot like love recently. He was a way shower, a special human along my path. But still my feet kept moving….as I knew they would. It was a warm and reassuring experience though.
The good stuff is here. In this immediate present. I wont look back and be turned into stone as I reminisce about any one person, thing or place. Onwards. Forward. Around the bend! Lets dance! Feel and know we are gloriously alive!
I trust myself and so know when to move and when to remain.
Be kind to yourself over there. Do not believe all the unkind and even kind thoughts making pitstops yeah? Challenge them. To a duel. A fast food eating competition. Those thoughts determine how you walk through this world after all…so be gentle. There is enough. Of everything you need. And you are more than deserving of it. X