South Africans have rebellion hardwired to their bones. I do find it ironic that the old guard who fought for freedom once, are now amongst the staunchest beating the compliance drum. Follow the rules. Do this. Sit down. Shut up. And if you disagree you are……(followed by every terrible word smart people can employ). Working on the radio reminded me of the pernicious nature of greed. Control. Dark persuasion. Each man for himself and….if you pay us enough I will shine your shoes for you Baas. Just promise me things will go back to the way they were Baas. We promise we will behave Baas, yes we will. My father would have been appalled.
One of our Afrika Burn comrades has since passed. I sang at his memorial service. Max was outrageous but had a heart of gold, and everyone celebrated that gold as I sang. So I asked myself the same question I do almost every day.
What would I do if I had no fear? Who would I talk to, hang out with? Do the people I love know I love them? What can I do about the things I regret?
Where would I want to be? Travelling and making music. Am I doing this? Yes. As best I can. What’s next? The new album. I will wait until money or resources become available….and try to do the best I can. Before then, until then and afterwards also.
I reckon the truth is….that everyone is doing the best they can. Making choices in their interest, for their sanity. And if I remember only that small thing….I can sleep easier. But fighting people about the validity of their choices is something I will never do. We are all sovereign beings, aren’t we? Even if it appears we are being poisoned around every corner. Our food, our water the soil, the air, what is being passed off as entertainment is just another kind of mind control. Escapsism. Distraction. Annoyance perhaps.
When looking at my own life and the things that surround….I have just enough. The trick is to take that ‘just enough’ and extend it into the rest of everything I do. Towards family and friends. And allow just enough breathing space for the new and entirely surprising to enter my life.
I love hearing our house wake up, one family member at a time. The small laughter and kindness. My Mother saying, ” Ek lag my tande uit my mond uit!” Or hearing her talk to all her plants in the garden. Humming and laughing at anyone she encounters. The bad music my sister listens to. My nephew being his funny self. The birds outside. Gilda’s eyes that sparkle even though she is facing so much.
The truth has to be something small enough to hold on to, I decided. Right now everyone is doing the best they can with the just enough they have at their disposal. The rest I will worry about or not when I encounter it. Take it easy wherever you are. I hope your just enough is truly enough to keep you afloat. X