How often do we take a look at our lives and think of all the really good stuff eh? Some call it gratitude, others like my Mother call it Grace. Either way, I am gonna share some of mine.
Dancing makes me happy. At Summer Camp, a trans music festival, I was offered a banana flavored ice cream on the dance floor. It was perfect.
Or at the gay club getting down with Antonio! Only a gay man can get me to remove my jacket and dance with abandon. So much so that my rather bountiful boobs don’t bother me!
Small moments with my best friend. Just sitting outside while he shares big and small stories of his family.
The entire Reclaiming Agency program at Cornerstone Institute where I was exposed to different communities, their joys, heritage and pain. Oh, and the finger food was to die for! Watching the documentary My Dear Children where I swallowed my tears until the end of the screening.
Watching the one man or woman play He Had It Coming. A powerful commentary on the lives of all South African women in our country. Funny, piercing and insightful; our country, the good, bad and ugly seen through the eyes of women.
My birthday…I loved being surrounded by friends, singing and enjoying whiskey. I forgot that Converse shoes are my favorite and being gifted with a pair that match the unicorn earrings my daughter gave me was perfect.
A wonderful book called Music of the Ghosts is pure magic. I don’t want to pick it up and read as I will devour the entire book. So I stare at it and finger the pages instead. When I am ready yes…
Mansoor, rocking up at 10am with freshly baked koesisters. Now that was a treat!
My shaman showing me different ways of reading on my new tarot deck. Oh, and the dream where we both travelled to some astral plane to….wait for it…retrieve a bit of someone’s soul. Don’t even ask me about that dream. I am still trying to make sense of it.
Each call from my parents and daughter. Daddy just wants to know when I am coming home…and is convinced he will only see me in the new year. Now how do I break it to Gilda that I won’t be home for Christmas or New Year?
Staring at the Moon every night, sometimes with awe, longing or….suspicion. Just what those evil aliens and government conspirators are up to eh?
Walking in town to the waterfront and beyond. Until we came across a small restaurant on the edge of the beach. It felt as though we were in the Mediterranean, surrounded by blue.
Finding new things to write about everyday and being surprised by the epiphanies that descend. Or the stupid thoughts that pollute my mind.
Rediscovering old music or Ben Harper songs I want to cover…just because I can. I mean, seriously, I heard a cover of Amen Omen and…lawdy lawd…was not impressed at all. Yeah, I am a snob. Shoot me.
Finding new reasons to be grateful for the love that was shown to me this year. And not being lost to nostalgia or regret.
Realising that my path is a highly individualistic one and my gift to others is that of deep personal transformation. Okay lemme break it down. Those I have a deep connection with seldom leave without knowing something is incredibly wrong with their lives! Always it’s men who find me. Men at different stages of their lives, facing endings, beginnings or ones stuck in the middle. It’s okay, I tell them. Life moves us on, when we are ready, when we can or when we must. I give the time and attention I chose to and do not get attached – to them or their pain. I am just there to help if I can.
Watching cool movies that spark music. Or dreaming of my music being used in a cool sci-fi thriller or series. Although, the fact that one of my songs was used in the opening scene when a priest got shot was rather cool…
Getting into my car and listening to music…while I wait for that perfect moment when my mood and the music matches.
Getting into studio, or wiring a new song. Being excited about the new album, knowing it will be completed yet I feel no urgency at all. Or concerns as to how, when and with who it will happen.
Every single time I think of travelling and singing overseas! It’s a strange thing really…but it is important that when I think of an activity, person or event I am filled with excitement. That’s always an indication that something is going right.
Jotting down lines in my notebook. Some are hilarious though. Here are some of them…
- Are you ready to be subjected to all of my pleasures?
- Check every tombstone!
- Love me as if you have no past
- I swallow everything quickly. The tequila, love and sperm!
- I will share anything besides my last whiskey.
- I can taste poison on my tongue
- Be naked when I get there
My life is what it is,what I chose to make of it. And it’s filled with wonderful people. Either way, I have much to be grateful for! I hope you remember that you do also.