We do the best we can given who we are and what we have been through. That’s as simple as it is. Whether in the family context or at work. No one means to be an asshole, but…life happens. Sometimes we are the asshole and sometimes we are the victims.
And so we walk through this world with a gaping wound. Forever trying to find a way to stop the hurt from swallowing us whole. The answer is always closer than we think, nearer than we suspect.
Right now I can hear the voices of my family, laughing, making jokes and being all kinds of crazy…and I am so grateful. For everything. Yes, I am the oldest, but because I am an artists they made all these mad assumptions about how I live my life and what should and shouldn’t happen. It’s only with my father passing that I stepped up. My voice is the firmest. I simply won’t take shit from anyone. And will not allow people I care for to be fucked with. This is just how life works at times. We find our way to the places we were always meant to inhabit….when needed most.
Gods, I love my damn family. I love that we are all under the same roof. I love that Gilda, my white Granny, is down the road and I can call her up for recipes or ask her how to do….virtually anything. These people I have in my life are such a blessing. And I am richer for it.
And this is why I am so grateful for…..having been a witness to my father dying. For holding space as they did for me. For knowing just how loved I am and how much love I can give in turn. I had this mad fantasy in my mind where I was in another city when he died. That I would be called away from wherever I was to come home. That didnt happen. Instead, I was there. Freaking out and offering the cops and everyone else a cup of damn coffee, as his body was becoming colder by the minute.
Love the people who show up. Trust me, it matters. Love their bravery, their fragility and honour them as best you can. That’s how we change the world. By showing Love….as best we can….given the little we know. Every small bit matters. I can’t tell you how many times people came up to me and said….this small thing you said made the world of difference. I am sure you had the same experience. So can you imagine how you can impact those who are closer? Especiall if the love shared is True.
Dream well. Love well. And make every minute count. You. Matter. Xx