It’s almost 6am and I have been writing music for almost 10 hours. The first song was rather cool. Any by cool I meant invoking the energy of Lilith, filled with sufficient rage. Later I started writing a song I called If I Could I Would. This started out as a story, part of the other project I was working on.
Perhaps because of Kevin’s death or generally being rather melancholic I abandoned Lilith and worked on this instead.
Here are some of the lyrics…
If I could I would she told him
Stories around you I would weave.
Shaded in the palest of blue
So you’d never have to grieve.
If I could I would he told her
But courage is so damn hard to find.
I don’t believe your shades of blue
Would ease my troubled mind.
Later I sing
If I could I would remind you
If I could I would
Courage can be lost and found
Sometimes a whisper shakes the ground
You stand on.
However, I end the song on the lines ‘Courage can be lost and found. Courage can be lost…’ The song hangs on a open minor chord. Not all fights can or should be won, I think. What would be the point if everything ended well all the time? I know Rodney will take my bad piano and turn it into something magical. The problem is that I am writing so much music instead of concentrating on getting people to attend the performance at the end of the month. Still. I like what I spent a few hours working on. It fits well with the other songs. I can feel the album slowly taking shape…while I lose sleep and possibly a bit of my mind. My heart is a black pit of despair. Perfect for musical purposes. Now to sleep. I have projects to work on and a date later tonight. Heart full of despair or not. I intend having a good time.