The After Dusk album has been sent to various people before being released. Hell, the album artwork isn’t complete yet and the Music is out there. I feel lighter. As I lived inside some of those songs. Built little cities there. Got lost and remained asleep as the world banged its head against mine.
Perhaps that’s why we become songwriters or musicians. It is the safest and most perilous bit of creative real estate. With great views overlooking ” everything imagined is real” and a two blinks away from volcanic plains where signs like “dont you dare ‘ , “the answer is yes” and “I know why you are here ” are scattered all over. But you cannot sell the property…as you alone concoct the koolaid in a laboratory at the edge of your land. Except the special juice is not being handed to willing cult members. That priviledge is yours and yours alone. And you sip it slowly as the fire roars and the snow blisters outside.
This peculiar feeling only makes itself known after an album is complete. Each song is a patchwork of memories. Snap shots of half spoken wishes thrown into the air. Small rollercoasters of tastes and odd states jigsawed together. Each and every song is never one solitary thing. Instead it forms a part of a small world I once inhabited. I felt the same way after completing Silk and Gravel last year. Or perhaps I am crazy. There is always that option.
My external reality reflects a shift. Different boardgame. A more stylish wardrobe. New players. Different rewards. Brand new devils for each new level. Let the games officially begin! As I feel lighter. Relieved. And everyone I love is one small step closer. That is more than I could ask for.
I do wonder what kind of Music I will be writing in the next few months…