I am having a cynical day, where I feel like a bit of a Grinch. Especially around my chosen career path. Ah, not a path. A calling if you will. This isn’t a rant about not getting recognition or even money. But tell me, what do you do if there is a small voice always whispering, “This matters more than you think…” and yet one is met with all kinds of opposition?
I have always heard this voice and it spoke of Music. Yet, I am forced to consider some othe path perhaps. I heard it being said that insanity is doing things the same way and expecting other results. My daughter also suggested another path. My life as is, is satisfying yes. Yet, there are elements missing. Certain things I need to draw into my life. But how? This is the question I am continually asking myself.
What can I do better, or differently this time around?
I must remind myself to remain open to other possibilities and people. I cannot afford to be distracted in any way. Or by anyone. This is rather hard, as there are so many distractions around. I try to be as self disciplined as possible and unafraid to ask for advice.
The rest? I can deal with that. My family and friends are solid. Those I trust are kept near. Love? Not something I give great thought to at all. As it can be the biggest distraction if the wrong person is chosen.
One cannot always help where one’s heart is called to, this I accept. Yet. One can decide what to do with the love one feels. It has found it’s way into the Music more often than not. Sometimes I do lament the fact that my heart has never been safe in anyone’s hands. But then again, perhaps I was just as unready as they were eh? We live, learn and hell….eventually things do change. As we have along the way.
One day, one thing at a time. The answers will come,whether I go in search of them or not. When I know more, I will. Forwards we march my people. Onwards and what not…to whatever amazing place lies in waiting…that is all I can do for now.