I felt amazing when I woke up. Clarity and the weather made this day downright fantastic! I decided to run some errands in my dodgy beanie and buy some specs for my long drive home. And then I spotted it. A bladdy hat. Of course I wanted a peek hat in grey but could not resist trying on everything. I am a hat, beanie and anything you can put on your head kinda lady.
Of course when my girlfriend saw me she said was, ‘Dont you think you are taking this Ben Harper thing a bit too far?’ Goddamn. This was not about his musical ass….but mine instead. I bought something lovely because I like it and well, I do look kinda bad ass in it. Not for stage, as I move around way too much. But I know my parents are gonna say I look like a old time gangster. The hat also signalled something else. I am so over…everything.
Life is not that complex. If you have a question. Ask. If you want to call someone – do it. If you want to get laid – pick up your phone, get laid and have no guilt. We get everything so confused. All these stupid theories about how we should behaved, the moral norms. Gods, how boring. I am not interested in any of it. Show me who you are…right this second. With all your fucked-upness. Show me your truth not who you think you should be….and we can hang out. Hell, I might even cook for you!
I am gonna enjoy being home and the safety it brings me. Also, I plan on spoiling my parents and trying out all manner of recipes. As I don’t know when I will see them again. And I am seeing my daughter!! Also, I prayed and said… right-oh you god like beings and what not, my angelic entourage – I would like to experience a career overseas. Make it happen. Amen. I am ready.
I am just gonna chill the fuck out and watch it unfold. That’s called having faith. In myself and the gods and whoever they chill with. In the meantime I can only do what I can with what I have in the space I find myself. Connect with amazing people, eat great food and enjoy the sun. I am done controlling, monitoring and what not. Life needs to be lived with one’s feet in the sand and sun on your skin. Or with a blanket, hot water bottle and a delicious body next to you, if that’s how you roll.
The rest, I decided, is a surprise, whatever shows up in my life. Peace out my people. Wherever you are – you are loved, seen and heard. Honored for the crazy person you are – regardless of the state of your heart. And if all else fails…buy a bladdy hat!