My daughter turns 21 today and the Corona virus is wreaking havock around the world. Where does this leave everyone, the average person, the you and I who still have a life to live?
When faced with any fear, be with global or personal – only one question is being asked. What do you believe to be true about the world you live in? Or, if everything is an expression of love or the absence of it…just where do you stand in the midst of it?
When my daughter was born I was confronted by every fear imaginable. I was paralyzed for a while and simply leaving the house with this small person became a monumental task! She changed the course of my life and with her came the awareness that Music is the key to my personal freedom. Twenty one years later and I no longer recognise the person I was then. Scared little me, who barely spoke and kept all my thoughts and fears secret. I shed so many skins since then…
Fear, in my thinking, is a spark in a dark room. It wakes one up. And so many of us have been asleep. Not really conscious about the amount of control being exercised by our governments or how much we hand over. Honestly, during apartheid a certain Wouter Basson had free reign to use chemical warfare on the entire black population. Someone else gave the order. Someone else is to blame. This was heard so many times during the Truth and Reconcilation Commission.
Does this sound familiar? How many of us hold another responsible for the ills in our lives? Yeah, it’s your Mother, your wife, your kids, the government….anyone else but you. We see the world not as it is but as we are. Everything is a mirror. So just what is the mirror showing you?
Again, I am grateful for the experience in India. I became very clear about the kind of world I would like to inhabit and the being I clothe myself in before I leave my four walls. Many of us find that incredibly hard as we are stuck in our own narratives of pain and suffering. A narrative rooted in our past.
Along comes a virus that causes the entire world to grind to a slow holt, and suddenly we are confronted with ourselves. Our own shortcomings, fears….and dreams of what could be. I reckon that’s the point, that’s what one should hang on to. What is it that makes you happy? What do you value and why? And will you spread that around?
‘You need to learn to let go of the past Auriol. Just look at it and let it go. Don’t entertain it or anyone who does not value you, where the energy is not reciprocal…’ I heard perfectly what my friend said. Yet, I only let go of anything or anyone once I understand who it is I became or failed to be in the presence of that experience, that person.
We are all in the process of becoming. What we become and how our fears and dreams mould us….is a sublime mystery. So go ahead…be aware…but never afraid. Reach out and show as much love as you are capable of, and try not to judge those stuck in their personal narratives of fear. Those who sit glued to their tv screens as the Corona virus infects, lowers our collective consciousness and plunges us into fear.
All it is a shield, a path that needs to be walked on and explored until letting go is possible. And let go…we all will and must. When we are ready, when we can.
After I faced my fears and embraced Music…everything in my life changed, step by step. And my daughter was instrumental in that process. The fear, every bit of it…was nothing short of a gift in the end.