When I wake up I write. Just like my Mother who sits with her holy books and prays, I write. Then I think of music. The realisation this morning was this – I have not allowed myself to feel deeply yet. Oh, I have come close yes. And when I do I celebrate that with music.
So music becomes a sanctuary where everything I deeply desire or care for is carefully placed into. There I can have everything I desire and not censor myself at all. I do that enough in other parts of my life.
It is rather therapeutic if I think about it. Place it all my desires in music and emerge from between the notes and harmonies with greater….relief. So my heart is not an open wound for anyone to spear with rusted swords.
There are people I miss, who I would love to see again. Yet, I find it significant who I am spending time speaking to, who I check in on, what I write music about and who checks in on me.
As much as we determine our own reality, we are not alone. We co-create together after all. This is why who I surround myself with matters a great deal. Life is tricky as is. The last thing I need are difficult people with agendas. And that’s why I check in to see how deeply I feel about who is in my circle. Life is short and tricky and the last thing I want to do is waste time.
So much for taking it easy eh? So much for just enjoying life. It reminds me of the elation I feel when singing. That feeling is one I wish to spread out. The strength of mind and voice needs to be aired not only in music or stage, but everywhere.
Perhaps losing my shit on an epic scale a few days ago was not bad at all. Perhaps it was needed. To free myself of a past I am no longer am tied to, a person I no longer care to be. A skin I shed more than a decade ago for very valid reasons.
Yes, new things and experiences await! More people to meet, love and care for and music to enhance and celebrate it with.