I am happy. Stupid happy. So content that when I played my sister a new song she remarked, ‘You make me want some of that love my dude. One would think you are in love…’ Yeah, and I am….with life itself dammit!
How did I get there, to this strange place of being content in a mad world, you ask? I decided to be the calm in my own storm. It started out as a survival technique when I was younger,keeping my own council and later finding solace in music. Since 2018 I have been clearing and cleaning out the toxins in my life. Man, that was hard. Not only having to deal with other people, but realizing that sometimes I can be an asshole ( to men especially). And so the work began…
In the meantime the world seemingly went to hell. America was playing the polarity game on the world stage and everyone had to take sides. The one guy being portrayed as ‘good’ and the other as ‘bad’. All politics is, in my thinking at least, is a game….that needs the energy of people. A program designed to consume and swallow you whole. If I were a very smart evil alien overlord…I would have my people working both sides of the gun. Why not get as much as you can get eh?
Choose. Decide. This. Matters….they all seemed to sing in unison. And let me not get started on the conspiracy theorists! And I do love a good conspiracy theory, I wont lie. Excellent fodder for songs. Yet, even when truth can be found there….it really is nothing but another wonderful program, a loop, a black hole that consumes….energy and keeps you trapped in fear. As I watched all this unfold I had no choice but to look at my own damn self and ask….why? Why does this affect me so?
I rooted out many people from my life and along with them the fears they came to gift me with, in order to answer that question. How am I doing? Considering the pandemic, Daddy dying and not working for almost a year….not too bad. Yet, its a process, blogging everyday and writing music helps a great deal. But so does being around good people, or finding the good in people and in myself.
The question I ask almost every day is, ‘ What are you spreading or emitting? With your music, words, your being?’ Not necessarily on social media but at home with people I love. Do I give them my best? Am I a bladdy joy to be around or do my family and friends avoid me like the plague?
I am deeply intentional with how I love people and the amount of care I show.
As someone who has fallen in love only thrice, and I mean stupid, lightning bolt love….I came to realise that love travels along my frequency. I once heard it being said that you can only love at your level of consciousness. Hence the clearing and cleansing process. It is my intention to offer only the best of myself to those I choose to love. More than I ever have before.
Does that sound stupid? Sometimes it does you know. Sometimes it feels stupid after the fact, but only if I had some expectation I was not honest enough about. However, it never feels silly during the act of giving love and care. I realised that my heart and my sleeve are one and the same. And that’s okay.
Enlightenment means….lightning the f**k up my people! Not parking off like a monk and eating bad food, or none at all. In my mind that means I get to have more fun like I did last weekend. I was a silly kid jumping on a giant air pillow with my friends laughing like a hyena! It means I get to…Dress up, try out new thing. Kiss someone beautiful and feel the sun on my skin as I do ( ooh, that’s on my list of things to get to!). Or…staring at a sky full of stars and wondering on what alien ship I can throw the best party! And who I will abduct…
I really am glad my mother named me Joy. Well, sure, it’s my second name. But it is what I seek out in others and in myself as best I can everyday. Also, its a small reminder…to J…ust O….wn…. Y….ourself. We are all Creator Beings. No bladdy politician will ever convince me that he can solve all my problems. No man or lover either.
So go out there and live your best life. And spread and be the source of your own JOY.