Letting go of people has always been tricky for me. Seeing them as they are almost an impossibility. Rose tinted glasses were the only kind I wore. If people treated me poorly, I would write music. To mitigate, explain or even cover for them. Then Daddy died. My friends were worried. Why, I asked them? The lesson of discernment came full circle way before the old black man kicked the bucket. In my personal and professional life. His death just made it….stick.
Just to make doubly sure this was indeed the case, my past returned to ask the very same question. Have you learnt your lesson girl? Finally I can say yes, walk away and feel nothing. Nothing but gratitude for the lesson. Gratitude for the person. As at every point along the way I was in my power. There is a huge difference between power and control, I discovered.
The show is a few days away. I have rehearsals in an hour. I plan on seeing no one and staying focused. The following week Daddy will be dead for a year. I was invited to a party. I might go for a stint. I don’t think he would want me to be unhappy or sad. Also, now that I cleared out the devilish part of my past, I can finally make space for someone of my choosing. It’s time. I am ready. Besides, the gods know how much I love a good old surprise!
- Whenever I feel any amount of turmoil the following thought returns to me: what you ask for in peace, finds you in peace.