It’s one of those trick questions I ask at a party when there is a bit of a lull. Just who would you want to be locked up with? Obviously, if I had my way it would be with cool musicians and a steady supply of food and whiskey. Alas, no luck this time round!
I am going into lockdown with my family, siblings and godsons. And I am rather pleased with this situation to be honest. My sister has always been one of my closest friends and when I lived around the corner from her I was happiest. After all, there were small kids to annoy and scare! I forgot how much fun just picking them up from school was, or getting them high on sugar and leaving my sister to deal with two terrorists!
But this happens to all of us. Life gets busy and we forget what matters. My sister and I spent our last few hours of freedom on the beach. My sister is nothing like me. Logical and so practical it kills me! She has plans upon plans where I just…go with the flow. To her annoyance at times!
Often, I told her, we only know what we need by having it taken away from us. Obviously when I blog…a bit of strangeness has to be included, so here goes. I recall one past life where I died before her. And even then we were part of a big family. The roles being reversed. I was the youngest then. I ended up marrying a charismatic musician who passed our little village year after year. This after getting my heart broken and being convinced I wouldn’t ever love again. My sister placed flowers in my hair so I could sing and her family was mine.
Whether anyone believes me or not is rather insignificant. The past life narrative achieved its goal. It was a small reminder that joy does exist and can be regained this time round. My sister was always my protector and this time round…I get to be hers. Well, that’s the hope as she still treats me as though I am the youngest in the family!
Sometimes we don’t know why we choose the family we do or what it means. The world, I reckon, was always a dangerous place to inhabit. But all we can do is provide pockets of safety…and it starts in the family. Deal with your shit and face your demons. Leave the family feeling more whole if you can. The idea is then to extend that circle of safety. That is my theory anyway.
Virus aside, I now have nephews to scare and terrorise for a few weeks. Who could possibly ask for more eh? In the end what we need…isn’t half as complicated as what we tell ourselves when alone and afraid.