Just before I watch the 9th episode of Raised By Wolves and try to get some sleep…a small thought crossed my mind.
Different people heal differently. It all comes down to how you are wired. I enjoy the process of figuring things out alone. Just as I enjoy writing music alone. So healing was bound to work the same way. But not for everyone. I know of many people who did things differently.
I remember being told by an astrologer while examining my natal chart, that I learnt all the lessons regarding ego. And that it would be interesting and a test of sorts going into an industry that is driven by ego. Have I been tested? Oh bladdy hell yes. All it lead to was a deeper understanding of myself in the end. What I will and won’t stand for. And when the lesson was learnt the person who gifted me with it…..disappeared.
All artists are weird and fragile in their own way. At times it seems society applauds as we break, bleed and fall apart. As this is when we dig deep into ourselves and create. Yet. If we understood at a core level that we are more than just this sack of bones we would all be less anxious wouldn’t we?
If we knew that we are never alone, never without what we need and always supported by the universe or the gods, simply being alive would be less of a chore. And moving in the direction of what brings is joy easier.
So perhaps it is my calling to remind people of that small fact – through music. As this is how I got to know myself, discovered how and where I ache and how to heal myself with and without music.
In the end there is no quick fix. No shortcuts. All one can do is what works. Heal by yourself, with others – it matters not. Only that we do the work. This we discover by trial and error. By fucking up and getting lost – in others and ourselves. It’s all just a learning curve and along the way we get to meet wonderful people. Some are mirrors and some are maps. Some stay, some don’t. Sometimes we are the ones who walk away. Even that doesn’t matter. Only what was gifted to us through that experience and how we made it matter.
Okay, enough. Time to watch that amazing series and dream. And hike later with Mummy. It’s about the small things that bring happiness. They tend to build up and avalanche into larger experiences when we stop looking, caring and let go of expectations…
Dream well. Asleep or awake.