I came across this a few minutes ago. It made me laugh and I am sure any musician can relate. But it also made me miss being around musicians and my band. I miss Music more than anyone could ever imagine.
Damn you, Foolish Man.
I must confess, I have been madly in love for the last decade and none of it has been easy.
When I can’t find words it’s him I turn to.On those occasions he unfurls his arms and whispers unknown melodies into my ear as we sit at the lagoon in the late afternoon sun. When happy he flips on the radio and smiles as a cheesy song plays. He knows my toes cannot resist dancing and very poorly at that. When I am deeply introspective his voice transforms into an oracle, offering small glimpses of my future, our future.
Our love is volcanic on stage, soothing when alone, jovial in the company of others and downright feral when naked.
Yes, I am madly in love with Music itself.
Like any married couple we have our spats and even separated for a while. That was a dark time neither of us speaks of.
I do not question his love, devotion and loyalty to me. He demands honesty. The kind of honesty that requires I seek out the darkest parts of myself and hand it to him. His standards are so exacting and compromises are rarely allowed. He detests mediocrity and abhors boredom. Try this he says. Do not be afraid of doing that he urges me. And for heaven’s sake do not hide your body and being from others when on stage, he shouts!
And when he upsets me I run away to the beach, the lagoon, stare at my pocket full of stars in the sky and sulk. Those are the times I wish he would leave me alone to read without prising song ideas from the book in my hands. Maybe if he just gave me an hour’s peace I could go dancing without furiously scribbling observations into my notebooks; observations that inspire lyrics or melodies.
I write and sing as everything is love expressed and infused with Music. I write and sing because, if I am lucky, I find splinters of his voice, echoes I need to ensnare note by note, in every person I meet, every bit of food I eat, whiskey I sip.
‘You will know when you are around someone you can love and trust…’ How, I demanded one night when I threw a plate of food at him. This after a spat with an errant lover left me a bit beside myself.
‘Because,’ he said in a very even and calming tone, ‘everything about him, this man you chose to love….will make you feel closer to me…’
Damn him. Damn him to hell! How dare he, the arrogant, foolish man!
It took me a decade to discover that he was right all along…..Music never lies. Still.