I feel fantastic and here’s why. I have zero fucks to give. Also, I know how the new album ends. I can hear it in my head already. All that lush, rich sound that begs the question – what’s next?
The idea of gravitating to the place where one is happiest has great appeal. Or following one’s excitement as others would say. I have always done this I realised. Choices were made not based on some distant future but how I feel in this now. And if that now lasted for more than it should and caused me pain. Interestingly enough, my daughter’s wellbeing was not a concern when I got divorced. My sanity was. And since then I have kept making decisions in the same manner. Were there issues? Hell yes! Did everyone get over it? Those who matter did.
I don’t expect anyone to be perfect and I would rather listen than advise anyone about their life choices. It is tricky, all of this life business. And sometimes we incarnate with lessons we need to master,which makes it all the more trickier. Many of my lessons centred around relationships and how much of myself to give. A lesson one can only learn by being thrown in the deep end.
This is why I am pleased with the song Cherry Blossom Beautiful, that will signal the end of the new album. Every ending is a rebirth, a new start, and with Music I do become a Phoenix in my being. I wrote like one possessed because I had to rid myself of my past and accomplished just that.
I am not scared of being alone because I never am (my angelic entourage are not to be fucked with). Also, I am not afraid of being loved. Or loving another, regardless of what I told men in the past. Truth is..they were just not the one I wanted to love or be loved by. God that sounds rough hey? And in between I met magical human beings who lit up everything inside me and I in them. That is as it should be. We all need someone to lighten our path, to show the way…and give sanctuary.
Now I need to decide what song to open the album with. That will be revealed in its right time. But I can see an album photo shoot with my body covered in gold ink. The color of the sun on my back and Earth between my toes. That reminds me I need to ask for a dream so I can find a suitable album name.
That’s about it I reckon. Now to read some books and dream of something magical and special and wonderful. Something that feels as good as music does. X