Category: Category 1, My Blog

Before I share a small bit of writing I want to share something funny that happened a few minutes ago. The entire house was filled with family, my sister and the kids arrived, my father’s memorial is taking place rather soon. I walked into the lounge, the TV on full blast while my Mother and the kids watch…and what do I hear from the tv but the following words , ‘Hi, I am Ben Harper…’ Haha. My father always loved the tv show My Family. And somehow thought that Ben Harper was the white dude from the tv show, not the musician!

Life is surprising as it keeps on delivering small bits of magic when needed.

I wrote this earlier today. For my Father…who I love.

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My heart has been cracked wide open. This is what my father’s death feels like.  I can compare it to…seeing the face of your child for the first time or falling wildly in love. This grief, that’s so new, feels like love bordering on pain. Or pain bordering on love and all that separates it is the frail of my skin.

Now the words of every sage, musician and sober poet makes sense. Love can split worlds apart as well as fix every ill known the man. Love is, truly, all there is.

On my skin you’ll find only words and music,that’s how I arm myself.
Even if I woke up on the wrong side of being nice, I  hate leaving things unsaid. Here, take my love that’s wrapped in music or twisted with nonsensical phrases I can’t hold on to. As long as you know where my love can be found, is my unofficial refrain. My father is dead and in his safe I found all the letters I wrote to him over the years. Letters of forgiveness, words of love and reassurance. Small promises and little bits of nothing love .
My heart feels like the open blue sky,  the sea abandoned, the lightless desert and every note ever played and song ever sung. My father died in his home, with his wife next to him and a house filled with life. He died without fear,knowing he is loved.
Death isn’t the road to awe.  Loving another through every fear is. His death, like birth and every kind of falling in love is the ultimate act of bravery. That is what will remain with me.

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