Only at Afrika Burn did I hear a conversation start with, ‘What are you on?’ If only that was answered honestly. Forget the drugs taken out of curiosity or boredom. What about the rage that sits at the bottom of your feet? The unfulfilled dreams stuck behind your eyeslashes or the sexual frustration pasted on your skin? There is always only one response, one chant that keeps me sane, one sentence plastered to my bones: do not fuck with my frequency.

Do not fuck with my frequency. It’s a bit like asking how the sex was. ‘Its always fun and wildy exciting darling. Why? Because I was in it, I am there!’ A  silly  but true statement. I am the common denominator in every experience, in everything that happens to me. So why should it not be fun….most of the time?

I think of people as music. My last person was all percussion. He’d walk to his own internal rhythm, his hands always reaching for a cigarette while any surface became the skin of a drum. My favorite lover was a walking bass line. I could hear the speed at which he would play, the chord progression the minute I saw him. With each person, I listen carefully for their own music and what happens when we are together. I recall many times when I wasn’t aware of others or my own internal narrative. So I could not even say, ‘Dont fuck with my frequency’ as I had no idea what and who I was dialled into.

Staying sane is no easy task. There are so many voices, external and internal that demand one’s attention. Conflicting ideals and desires. I tend to hang out at the beach to get clarity. Or a space where I can breathe and the mental fog removed. I wake up and tune my frequency first before attending to anyone. If I leave the bed with a smile then it is gonna be a great day indeed. This was very hard for my daughter to understand at first. She gets it now. My frequency will be messed with (being human and having to deal with people), and I alone am responsible for how it plays out.

People pick up on each other’s energies. We infect each other with ideas and emotions. Ben Harper performed a small miracle in CT. He played a 12 minute instrumental and calmed everyone’s jittery nerves down, whether we wanted it or not. He knew how best to harness our energies with sound. Everything reqires stillness. I think of those moment during rehearsals with my band when we play a song that takes us all so far away from where we are, when all there is behind the music, and we feel it so acutely….is prayer.

It’s that energy I want to step into the world with; the sacred, the warmth of the sun and the moon in my voice. If I cannot find that energy within myself, I take my favorite musician’s voice and wrap it around myself. My frequency and my heart, safe….

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