‘You realise that you will always be needed by your family don’t you? Not only by them but by others….’ A friend said this to me and it was echoed by my sister who finally returned to her home.
The house is not as noisy anymore and we all miss them terribly, especially the boys. Now I have no one to harass with morning, afternoon, night and anytime I feel like it kisses.
Sometimes I do wonder when I can have a life of my own and who will step up when it’s time for me to leave. Still, the reality of having two parents who are getting real old and cannot be by themselves is not easy to digest. Not because of the responsibility but death is a reality we all must face.
And so another realisation hit home. When I am stable enough, I will adopt a kid. ‘You need a man with big balls to step up to you, ‘ says Mark. He knows I am not an easy person. Or a practical one at that. Noel seems to think I need a wife of sorts! As my head is always stuck in musical clouds. But kids are magic and I have way too much love ready to burst out of me! I am sure there is a small kid somewhere in this world in could do with a bit of that and me. I will be where I am needed and loved. That’s all. And so I forgive myself for the dig I took at those musicians a few blogs ago. If there is one thing I am certain of it’s this: the universe never leaves one without. And I will find my way to those who are ready to open up their arms and welcome me in. Hence there is no need to be upset or jealous. Still, I am human dammit.
Lockdown has been very insightful. And yes, my album is as good as done. Now to find the money and people to work with. It will come as it always does. Call it divine timing…
The first lesson all musicians must learn is often the hardest. It has nothing to do with money or resources. Or being at the right place and time with the right people. In order to do what one loves requires great faith first. That’s the magnet that attracts everything to you. Everything you need and sometimes even a good old surprise is thrown in there for good measure. But faith in your own music, the song you chose to sing is what matters most.
PS, regarding my previous blog( if everything was a lie)
I am sure Ben Harper is not an asshole. Eccentric for sure. Misunderstood, absolutely, perhaps even difficult in places. In fact it doesn’t matter who he is at the end of the day. He was part of one of my favorite memories of 2019 and for that I am deeply grateful. He made my life just a bit more magical by being in South Africa and brings joy every time he opens his mouth to sing. I can’t imagine someone feeling that way about me and my music.
Anyhoo, the notion of gratitude is one I try to nurture every single day. Faith and gratitude. It doesn’t matter what people do or say to me, how unjust a matter might appear. The only thing that does matter is how I feel and respond in turn. And if I can do it from an honest and true place…who could ask for more eh?