Do not become dependant on the object or outcomes of your desire. A warning, if you will and I have two stories to share. Both had two very different outcomes. Brace yourself people, this is gonna be juicy!One involves a Muse I had for many years and the other Ben Harper.
Now in truth I speak of Ben Harper as a reminder to myself more than anything. Or I share the story to show what’s possible when desire is grounded in one’s being and fused with meaningful action. The universe has no choice but to deliver it…
There was a desire within me that kept getting lost. Hence, I kept dreaming of this bladdy musician. The need to explore, delve deeper and create music from a space completely my own. Music not bound by the rules anyone set for me. It was a lifeline, as for so many years everyone had advice to give on what and how I should make music, live my life and achieve my goals. Then Boom! A Ben Harper dream came along to remind me – Auriol, damnit, do things your own way. Let the feeling of reckless joy burn within first and then let go. That’s what underpins all the music I write. Whether I am calling for world Peace or about to commit murder in song!
Now the Muse is another matter altogether. There is nothing like having one single person who sparks all manner of ideas just by their very being. And this Muse was extraordinary in every way I thought I wasn’t. I ached to see him, spend time with him and bask in his all round awesomeness. So that I could feel ignited and that flame of desire set my being alight.
The only problem was that it created a scenario where I was dependant on the approval of said Muse. Where his actions determined how I not only viewed myself but the world around me. Until one night… when I ran off to friends, drank whiskey, cried and burnt my notebook.Never again I said! Never again will the desire for anyone or anything consume me or determine how I behaved.
Inactive desire, where one wishes and daydreams but does nothing is just as damaging. All that potential energy stagnates and causes one live in a world where the fantasy is embraced with abandon, bordering on lunacy. Add love or lust to that mix and one is left with the perfect recipe for an unfulfilled life and a shattered heart.
It took a while for me to be clear about what I am invoking into my life. I use the term invoke deliberately. As I have created rituals around these desires. Ensuring the energy is clean and pure. Not sullied by my hidden agendas or the needs of others. Rituals with great meaning that propel my desires and root them into the ground I walk upon.
My daughter accused me of being cold. As the breaks and cuts I make with my past are clinical and razor sharp. If an experience does not fit into the desires I nurtured over the last few years, I walk away. This is done after great introspection of course. After numerous Senate meetings with myself and my advisors.
I think of people as fragrant flowers in a big ole garden. There is no need for me to remove them from the ground or create perfumes I can peddle to others. I discovered the horror of selling cheap perfumes once too many times! I call this my open door policy. I stand in the garden, inhale the aromas and taste the sunlight on my skin for as long as I can. Or visit the gardens of others to gain perspective. As I know what it feels like to be caged by the needs and desires of others. Or be driven wild by desires that long for water, earth and the sun.
The visit to the medium reminded me of this. Know what and why you desire. And once clarity is gained – act on it. Take the risk, face the fear and watch how your garden blooms.