Whenever I need my spirits lifted I go to a gay club. Here’s what I love….in CT there are few gay clubs so what one finds are people of every shape and color getting down and dirty.
You have your queens who dance like they own the place. And everyone is there to serve and bow down to them. You have the loners who lurk in the corner and dance very conservatively, until they had enough tequila that is. And of course, my favorite, the couple’s who are so in love they can’t help but kiss and touch each other, their moves perfectly in synch.
My best friend mocks me and says, ‘Auriol, the gays love you…’ No, I say what I see, what I know feels true. Show me your lover and I will tell you to keep a bit of your heart safe. Or show me the one you like…and I will spark up a conversation and give you my feedback. So my gay friends send me all over the club to speak to men they like and await my feedback, as they know how easily I can engage with people and read their energy. Haha!
Still, there are times when the kind of music that plays unintentionally sparks something in me. Like tonight….I saw a drag queen, dressed to the nines singing Whitney’s Where Do Broken Hearts go )I hate this song)..and while the club was exploding I thought….fuck you! Leave me and my grief alone. See, it’s easy grieving someone for the hurt they caused. But what does one do when another leaves you with memories that are tainted with gold and dust? Memories that are filled with joy and magic that…you don’t know what to do with them? Yeah, that’s a song I am gonna write.
And so I jotted down those words in my notebook, in the smoking section of the club, as the music pumped, as people were gyrating and the smoke filled the air. Where do broken hearts go? Mine…it goes home….to read. To sleep and perhaps dream.
It was…a gift, the entire evening. I found someone I could dance with. And he was a Scorpio! We danced and looked at each other with such intensity. ‘ Thank you love,’ I said, ‘ people would assume you are straight and we so into each other!’He is my official dancing partner from now on dammit!
Hell, it was so much fun. I saw the best of who people can be, the worse as well…yet all I felt was so much love and acceptance. Who could ask for more eh?