Once upon a many moons ago my shaman visited me and saw the lyrics to a song I had just written. ‘Auriol, this is a curse. Burn the paper and don’t sing the song…’ I burnt the paper as I did so realised that music is a spell of sorts. With it you can call into being anything you desire. That energy is amplified and carried to distant places by those who hear it. It will find its way back to you and surprise if you are unaware of the thoughts and frequencies you are silently broadcasting. I am often accused of not speaking my truth. It takes time for me to understand what I feel and music brings clarity to me with greater ease. I ground myself in words and music. And if searing rage is what I feel, that is what I will write about. Not for some imaginary audience but for myself.
I dream, I mentioned this often, and some of those dreams were so dark. If horror movies could be made about them no one would sleep for days I tell you. Regardless of what I dream about I carry that energy into my waking life. So if I have a nightmare…I will recall the color flooding the room, the smells, the people and their movements and then use that idea either in my writing, music, on stage or store it away for a music video. The energy is embraced and used. Why else dream if not to act on the energy? At the end of a rather horrid dream my mother looked at me and said, ‘Auriol, the past can always be changed….’ And then I woke up.
Before I write music or perform I pray. I call in my ancestors to walk with me, to help me find words when I struggle, to show me the way. I know there is a love of music that members of my family could not express because of the times they lived in. So I invite them into my space to share the joy, the downright bliss that is music. When I need a sign I get it. Either in the form of a dream, in music or a small little insect showing up unannounced.
I allow the music to take me wherever it must and bring those meant to find me closer. Not everyone will stay. Not everyone is meant to, and that’s okay also. But if you seriously piss me off….know that the energy will be harnessed. No one might ever hear the song or even read the words but I refuse to carry dirty thoughts and emotions in my body. Not anymore. Not ever again. I refuse to poison myself.
Love must be nurtured and it starts with you bucko! Call a spade a spade and if you are unsure…notice how your body feels and where it hurts. Pay attention to your nightmares and remember your pain is a gift. It shows you the way….