Hi, my name is Auriol Hays and I was an emotional rescuer. I don’t know where it started or how but I seem to attract people into my life who are in all kind of deep shit. Especially men.
So this is how it usually starts. I ask a question and, perhaps because most musicians are classically trained since birth to listen, I listen intently. This normally leads to one of three outcomes. I have a male friend for eternity. Or they can no longer be a part of my life or I end up being the one who needs to be saved – from them!
Again, the normal set of events take place. Very long calls or texts, time spent just hanging out and eating great food…or, in the case where I need saving but cannot ask for it, music is written. The last time I thought I needed rescuing, two albums where written where his energy was infused into every note. Each album a small gift or offering. That does sound poetic doesn’t it? But my god man! It was torture. I think the song that encapsulates that feeling perfectly was Constellations of Desire.
Now when men enter my life I ask them to do what I learnt the hard way – find balance and chill out. One thing, one day at a time. Create a safe space that’s filled with optimistic people. A day that’s has more good energy in it and eat well dammit! I don’t mind extending myself to others but I refuse to become a crutch or have anyone’s happiness dependant on the choices I make, or mine based on theirs. Sometimes, for whatever reason, we all become willfully blind, and need someone to help us see.
I learnt, by loving badly, how to save myself. To get the fuck out of dodge when I see red flags in anyone. I have drowned enough, seen enough blood on the walls, hidden enough murder weapons when it comes to love. I think we all have.
Whoever comes into my life next will be my friend and it would be an added bonus if they have Scorpio energy. I would like someone whose emotional intensity can match mine.
All of this when the time is right of course. And when that time comes… neither of us will need rescuing. Or he will know what murder weapon to hand me….and I can pinpoint the perfect spot where a body needs burying.