Best lines I heard this weekend all came from friends. ‘Auriol, I can’t believe you stuck to just one drink at the party. What witchcraft is this?’ He misheard. I said one kind of drink! After sending one of my other friends lyrics to a song I wrote he said, ‘Remove the word brown. He isn’t a man, he is a god. So use the word bronze instead!’ Of course it was one of my girlfriends who made me howl when she looked at me incredulously and said, ‘Hey, did you steal my condoms?’ Hell no said I. ‘Oh, damn…why not?’ Hahaha!
These bits of magic do wonders for my soul. I am currently allowing the sun to warm my skin and am reminded of my Mother who said, when I was rather sad a while back, ‘Go sit in the sun and let it take away all your dark thoughts…’ This filters back into music of course. Everything becomes music in my world. The things I feel, the mad jokes of friends and what I see outside of myself. Psychological fiction, that’s what Ben Harper said ages ago about the songwriting process. It is a gift of sorts. Fusing what is felt deeply and what one imagines or wishes to be true. Of course the trick is balancing it all so one can actually place one’s feet on the ground with greater optimism. Unless you are just a grumpy fuck with or without the music!
I told my girly to be careful of what she takes into her body. This requires a certain amount of awareness as I am not only speaking of food. Even alcohol, or whiskey is imbibed carefully, or not so carefully around people I love. I remember only a few occasions when I drank alone during a horrid year when a few friends passed. Or I would visit my sister and even she knew after a while I could be found in some corner of her house crying. It’s a Scorpio thing. We cage our emotions. Writing helps, composing songs more so. Yet there is always a small few seconds after writing a song when I feel so exposed, where I wish I could crawl into a bed and kiss the face of a man I love deeply knowing that I am….safe.
Sex is a sacred business, a delicious and dirty sacred thang! I won’t take into my body the skin of a man whose mind is poisoned or whose need is deeper than mine. I recall my shaman admonishing me many years ago. ‘You had sex with that guy again didn’t you? Don’t you know he takes more of your energy than he gives. This is why you feel the way you do.’ I learnt how to channel sexual energy into music. Luckily I had a blues band close. So could write and sing a song in a church called, ‘Dont taste me with just the tip of your tongue…’ Haha. That song went down so well with the old ladies!
I was asked a few days ago what I would want for myself, to be happier. My answer was simple. I do not want or need a man, even though at times I do become lonely. Just give me more music. Different stages and people where my imagination can run wild. As long as there is music to write, to sing. As the rest of my world and those I love I do not doubt. I don’t mind people being imperfect, just remain as true as you can, this is all I require….and great food of course!
I awake every single damn day with only this intention: more music, worlds of music to explore and make my own. I will unearth the people and weave the words into song, that’s all I desire. Along with a small spot where the sun and I can meet so I can fall asleep. Safe and sound.