I made a few decisions during lockdown. Wait, I made so many! However, this is the most important one. My happiness and peace of mind will never be dependent on anyone.
I can see my daughter rolling her eyes and calling me non committal and afraid of love, blah blah blah. None of which is true anymore. Still, I maintain my stance. My happiness is my own. Honestly, I don’t know how people do the relationship thing. It seems exhausting. Having to deal with family is work enough as is. I chose people who won’t stress me the hell out!
Henceforth….my birthday will always be spent with friends or on stage. Every moment I can get away on a trip, I won’t hesitate. Forget Valentine’s Day man! I think I will spoil myself with a hot air balloon ride and lots of whiskey. Tumi is the dj at my next birthday party and I want…greek male dancers! Yeah, throwing plates and being sexy as fuck! And a Earth, Wind and Fire tribute band!
Jumping out of a plane. Base jumping. More ink. Another visit to India. Istanbul. Berlin. The catacombs in France. Diana Ross live. Earth, Wind and Fire live. Stevie Wonder live. More Ben Harper naturally. Finish my slave book. Write more music. Perform with a orchestra, brass section, choir all on one stage. Singing my damn songs. A home full of beautiful paintings and fresh flowers. And plenty of bacon. Look, a home is just not a home without bacon dammit!
The point I am making is this – I will do whatever makes me happy. Without depending on anyone. The same applies to music. Whoever wants to be in my energy and enjoy the ride is most welcome – if we share frequency. I won’t deal with assholes. Or men with big egos and small dicks. Haha. On stage and off stage. I will walk towards that which moves me.
I wasted so much time already, jah feel? No more. Ride out bad days. Wake up with a great song and find joy and happiness before I leave my bed. Or pick it up along the way. Yeah. If love comes along, great. If not. Great. I reckon I can deal with whatever comes my way. It took a long time for my heart to heal and I like how intact and together I feel. Despite everything that happened, even though I miss Daddy….life itself is still a gift and beautiful in unexpected places.