Category: My Blog

I can’t  believe this year is almost over. Truthfully, the questions I kept asking myself  in 2021 was:

What am I doing here?
What the hell does it mean?
Why am I alive?

One would think it was a bad year based on those questions. Alas, it was not.

Mental health: 100%
Family and friends: 100%
Music/Muse: 60%
Love Life: what love life eh?

I made peace with the following:

Music will be released when opportunity allows.
Being alone is no excuse for bad sex or conversation.
Tequila is my thang.
Joshua Tree, the full band version, is still my favorite song.
And I am a Mummy’s girl. Always was.

Before I head off to my desert residency  in March, I have much to prepare. The desert had such a profound effect on me.  I want to hear what the new music sounds like in such a vast space. I am going to sing alone at Dusk, my favorite time of day, all the songs I sing when  saddest and release 3 years of tricky living into the expanse. Then at Afrika Burn, a month later, revel in letting go.

People have been getting married, divorced, dying, having kids – the usual stuff yeah? The pandemic added an extra edge to what is usual. I, on the other hand, have been emptying myself out. Sometimes the sound of everything moving through me feels like  haunted house.

Hence, to keep the ghosts at bay, I accepted that…

I have no idea why I am where I am. {trust}
I have no bladdy idea what any of it means. {mystery}
And I really have no idea why am alive right here and now either. {surprise}

      But

I can sing and so meaning will come to me. Or I will make it up along the way.

                     And 

I have great family, wonderful friends and a piano I play badly. I will dye my hair blonde before the residency and Afrika Burn , braid it….and flow into and  with whatever comes next.

Isn’t  that all anyone can do?

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