My friend Matt looks at me a few days ago and says, ‘ You are an alchemist. But this means you search for lead to turn into gold. That could be a problem…’ He wasn’t only speaking about music.
I just woke up from a dream I drifted into while listening to music. And this is what I was told. ‘You don’t have to inhale other people’s poison anymore…’ Perhaps when I was small that’s what I learnt to do. And later, as a musician it became part of my creative process. So the worse the pain, the more broken the person…I could find beauty in there somewhere.
I only realised upon waking up from that dream how hard it became to breathe. Every inhalation felt like rusted swords, cold mountains, bare feet on snow. So many people around me, seeking warmth. As if I know what the hell I am doing! I don’t need to inhale other people’s poison anymore, transform it into music so they can walk over their broken edges. Sometimes, they ..us…me…have to allow the poison to darken and shatter the illusions causing us so much pain in the first place.
The poison is the cure. And I don’t need to keep repeating a lesson I mastered with Music, on and off stage.