Why bother lying man? I feel strangely supported by the gods. No, things are not running as easily, but they are moving. And with it a sense of calm, of peace slowly settling in.
Look, we like pretending we have an idea of what our future holds. Perhaps with our career or regarding love. We have mad ideas and at times the gods intervene, kick our asses and wake us up to the reality of who we are becoming. Nothing wrong with that right? Except it is a tad bit uncomfortable.
And so we start all over again. Maybe with less resistance or more. Armed to the teeth with anger…at ourselves, the world,others. It’s all a bladdy process. Yet, my saving grace has been moments of stillness. Of shared communion with family and friends. Matt and I had this cool conversation that went like this ( forgive me for taking liberties as I am not quoting verbatim)
Matt: The trouble is we are conditioned to think we need someone outside ourselves. The world does not equip us well enough. So we go searching for everything in that one person when what we need is a tribe. I mean, that’s a lot of pressure for one person to deal with.
Me: I hear you. But what happens when you are doing all the work on yourself. On becoming happy, being fulfilled…only to discover that you do not need anyone anymore? The pressing need to be loved, adored is…gone. Look, I don’t ever want to need anyone. Choose them yes. But need and fall over myself for anyone? Never.
Ironically, within my friend circle a stillness surrounds. Even though we don’t have the answers. Despite all our fears and doubts, we march onwards. As we all feel strangely supported….by the gods, our family and each other. Complete we stand in our power.
Frank Herbert said it best,’ I see us giving love to each other in a time of quiet between storms. It is what we are meant to do.’ I should have that linked on my skin….as it is the one true thing the last few years have shown me.